Martial Arts Did Not Change My Life: Part 2

I am a very good candidate for someone who could argue that martial arts saved/changed their life.

When I was young, I did not fit in. I did not understand these other creatures I was walled up with for seven hours a day, five days a week. When I tried to be myself, I was invisible, when I tried putting on a mask and fitting in, I stood out like a sore thumb. I was laughed at, pushed around, picked on, knocked down, and belittled by other students. I was blamed for the trouble by teachers and the principal. I was told by my father (bless him, he thought he was being helpful) I needed to "not wear my feelings on the cuff of my sleeve," which felt in my mind like, "it is your fault you are being picked on."

My parents signed me up for karate lessons at the Paducah Parks and Recreation Department with Sensei William Darnell. Sensei Darnell taught Tae Kwon Do, Isshunryu, Zen Kenpo, and Flowing Circles. He also taught me all sorts of other things. When I struggled with a self defense technique, (I remember this 28 years later), and I said, "I can't do it." He said, "Yes you can, and don't you ever use that four letter word in here again." Then he stuck with me until I got it right.

My mother supported me, took me to classes, asked to see what I had learned. My father finally found an avenue through which he could connect with me. When things took a turn for the worse for me in school, my lessons learned in martial arts classes were there like a light at the end of a dark tunnel. What I learned from my Sensei, the knowledge that my mother was there quietly supporting me (she always was, I just didn't see it before) and finally having that connection to my father were a guiding light in my dark times.

It would be easy (and marketable) for me to look back and say "Martial Arts changed my life, and probably saved my life," but if I did,

That would be an insult to my first instructor, and every one I've had since.
That would be an insult to my father.
That would be an insult to my mother whom I miss terribly.

The lessons taught to me by William Darnell using a tool known as martial arts, the knowledge of my parents' support, seen thanks to the lens of martial arts, the confidence I gained through my hard work and dedication facilitated by the tool of martial arts, are the things that saved my life.

Confusing the Tool With the Work

In martial arts training, one should be careful to know what one's goals are, and what are the tools used to achieve those goals. Many people mix these up.

When the two are confused, it becomes important to pass a belt test, it becomes important to be a 3rd degree black belt, it becomes important to have the title "Master".

An example from one of my other pursuits is my goal of running a 5K race in under 20 minutes. That goal is a fake goal. It doesn't really matter how fast I can run a 5K. What is really important to me is that I get outside and get myself into great physical health. While out there doing the work to get my body in shape, I get time to be by myself with my thoughts. I get time to test the limits of my physical speed, and the limits of my endurance. I get to face the enemy that is ME. In doing all that I am keeping my mind and spirit healthy. 

So, the 20 minute 5K pales in importance next to all this, it does, however have importance. It has a job. The purpose of that 20 minute 5K is to motivate me to get up in the morning, get going, and push myself. I hope that I never forget the real goal behind the fake goal.

I have seen countless people confuse the FAKE goals of martial arts with the real ones. Martial arts training can be a tool you can use to achieve real goals. The fake goals are those silly belts we were, the silly titles we attach such meaning to, the ranks and prestige and all that fluff. Those are FAKE goals. The real goals of martial arts for me include strengthening the body, facing adversity, having fun, building coordination and discipline, and the list goes on.

The litmus test is this:

If you would train diligently regardless of the promise of a belt. If you would train as hard whether or not there was a test coming, if you would pursue mastery knowing that no one would ever call you "master", then those things are your fake goals.

Fake goals are good to have. The danger is believing they are the real goals.

Kung Fu Did NOT Change My Life.

Kung Fu did not change my life, or change me, or save my life.

It won't do it for you either.

Thinking it will is like thinking a bicycle will make you lose weight. The bicycle will do no such thing. The exercise you get from pedaling the bicycle can help you out quite a bit though.

Like any tool, it is all in how you use it. Kung Fu can be the tool you use to change your life.